CODE
OF CONDUCT
Sikh
Reht Maryada
Anand
Sanskar :
(Sikh Matrimonial Ceremony and Conventions)
a.
|
A
Sikh man and woman should enter
wedlock without giving thought to
the prospective spouse's caste and
descent.
.. |
b. |
A Sikh's daughter must be married
to a Sikh.
.. |
c.
|
A
Sikh's marriage should be solemnized
by Anand marriage rites.
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d. |
Child marriage is taboo for Sikhs.
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| e. |
When a girl becomes marriageable,
physically, emotionally and by virtue
of maturity of character, a suitable
Sikh match should be found and she
be married to him by Anand marriage
rites.
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| f. |
Marriage may not be preceded by
engagement ceremony. But if an engagement
ceremony is sought to he held, a
congregational gathering should
be held and, after offering the
Ardas before the Guru Granth Sahib,
a kirpan, a steel Karah and some
sweets may be tendered to the boy.
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| g. |
Consulting horoscopes for determining
which day or date is auspicious
or otherwise for fixing the day
of the marriage is a sacrilege.
Any day that the parties find suitable
by mutual consultation should be
fixed.
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| h. |
Putting on floral or gilded face
ornamentation, decorative headgear
or red thread band round the wrist,
worshipping of ancestors, dipping
feet in rffiik mixed with water,
cutting a berry or jandi (Prosopis
spieigera) bushes, filling pitcher,
ceremony of retirement in feigned
displeasure, reciting couplets,
performing havans (Sacrificial fire),
installing vedi (a wooden canopy
or pavilion under which Hindu marriages
are performed), prostitutes' dances,drinking
liquor, are all sacrileges.
.. |
| i.
|
The
marriage party should have as small
a number of people as the girl's
people desire. The two sides should
greet each other singing sacred
hymns and finally by the Sikh greetings
of Waheguru ji ka Khalsa, Waheguru
ji ki Fateh.
.. |
| j.
|
For
marriage, there should be a congregational
gathering in the holy presence of
Guru Granth Sahib. There should
be hymn-singing by ragis or by the
whole congregation. Then the girl
and the boy should he made to sit
facing the Guru Granth Sahib. The
girl should sit on the left side
of the boy. After soliciting the
congregation's permission, the master
of the marriage ceremony (who may
be a man or a woman) should bid
the boy and girl and their parents
or guardians to stand and should
offer the Ardas for the commencement
of the Anand marriage ceremony.
The officiant should then apprise
the boy and the girl of the duties
and obligations of conjugal life
according to the Guru's tenets.
He should initially give to the
two an exposition of their common
mutual obligations. He should tell
them how to model the husband-wife
relationship on the love between
the individual soul and the Supreme
Soul in the light of the contents
of circumambulation (Lavan) Sabads
in the Suhi measure (Rag) section
of the Guru Granth Sahib.
He should explain to them the notion
of the state of "a single soul in
two bodies" to be achieved through
love and make them see how they
may attain union with the Immortal
Being discharging duties and obligations
of the householders' life. Both
of them, they should be told, have
to make their conjugal union a means
to the fulfillment of the purpose
of the journey of human existence;
both have to lead clean and Guru-oriented
lives through the instrumentality
of their union.
He should then explain to the boy
and girl individually their respective
conjugal duties as husband and wife.
The bridegroom should be told that
the girl's people having chosen
him as the fittest match from among
a lot, he should regard his wife
as his better half, accord to unflinching
love and share with her all that
he has. In situations, he should
protect her person and honour, should
be completely loyal to her and he
should show much respect and consideration
for her parents and as for his own.
The girl should be told that she
has been joined matrimony to her
man in the hallowed presence of
the Guru Granth Sahib and the congregation.
She should ever harbor for him deferential
solicitude, regard him the lord
master of her love and trust; she
should remain firm in loyalty to
him and serve him in joy and sorrow
and in every clime (native or foreign)
and should show the same and consideration
to his parents and relatives as
she to her own parents and relatives.
The boy and girl should bow before
the Guru Granth Sahib to betoken
their acceptance of these instructions.
Thereafter, the girl's father or
the principal relation should make
the girl grasp one end of the sash
which the boy wearing over his shoulders
and the person in attendance the
Guru Granth Sahib should recite
the matrimonial circumambulation
stanzas {Lavan of the Fourth Nanak,
Guru Ram Das Sahib in the Suhi Rag
of the Guru Granth Sahib } (Pp.
773-4). After the conclusion of
the recitation of each of the stanzas,
the boy, followed by the girl holding
the end of the sash, should go round
the Guru Granth Sahib while the
ragis or the congregation sing out
the recited stanza.
The boy and girl, after every circumambulation,
should bow before the Guru Granth
Sahib in genuflexion, lowering their
forehead to touch the ground and
then stand up to listen to the recitation
of the next stanza. There being
four matrimonial circumambulation
stanzas in the concerned hymn, the
proceeding will comprise four circumambulation
with the incidental singing of the
stanza. After the four circumabulation,
the boy and girl should, after bowing
before the Guru Granth Sahib, sit
down at the appointed place and
the Ragis or the person who has
conducted the ceremony should recite
the first five and the last stanza
of the Anand Sahib. Thereafter,
the Ardas should he offered to mark
the conclusion of the Anand marriage
ceremony and the Karhah Parshad,
distributed'.
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| k. |
Persons professing faiths other
than the Sikh faith cannot be joined
in wedlock by the Anand Karaj ceremony.
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| l. |
No Sikh should accept a match for
his/her son or daughter for monetary
consideration.
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| m. |
If the girl's parents at any time
or on any occasion visit their daughter's
home and a meal is ready there,
they should not hesitate to eat
there. Abstaining from eating at
the girl's home is a superstition.
The Khalsa has been blessed with
the boon of victuals and making
others eat by the Guru and the Immortal
Being. The girl's and boy's people
should keep accepting each other's
hospitality, because the Guru has
joined them in relationship of equality
(Prem Sumarag).
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| n. |
If a woman's husband has died, she
may, if she so wishes, finding a
match suitable for her, remarry.
For a Sikh man whose wife has died,
similar ordinance obtains.
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| o. |
The remarriage may be solemnized
in the same manner as the Anand
marriage.
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| p. |
Generally, no Sikh should marry
a second wife if the first wife
is alive.
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| q.
|
Amritdhari
Sikh ought to get his wife also
Amritdhari.
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